She’s SO up herself

Does anyone know the phrases that get thrown around a lot –  ‘she’s so up herself’ or ‘she loves herself way too much’. It’s so strange to me that people consider these as bad traits and say them like they are put downs. Why shouldn’t we love ourselves? If we can’t be our biggest fans then how can we expect anyone else to love us? I’m all for loving yourself sick! In fact, there isn’t enough self lovin’ going on in this day and age. If anything, we should be encouraging more up her selfness! It’s almost as if we are either expected to only exude confidence on the downlow, or we must internalise it. Why is it okay to admit our flaws, but not scream from the roof tops how amazing we are? How else are we going to encourage the younger generations and also those around us to love themselves if we can’t openly display it without fear of being labeled conceited / up ourselves.

The time and energy people spend worrying about the lives of others is time wasted. Perhaps the time spent judging could be put to better use in third world countries ? If you’re so worried about someone else, worry about the homeless, the refugees, the starving, the ill. Those who actually really need your thoughts, prayers, assistance. I bet those people wish they could love themselves sick! The beauty of being in charge of yourself, your life and your destiny is that YOU have the choice and power to disengage, to look away, disassociate. If what someone is doing bothers you SO MUCH then remove yourself from whatever situation is keeping your focus on THEM rather than on YOU. I have blocked/removed so many people on my social media/life – I am in a place in my life where I am 100% comfortable with my personality and who I am as a person (I’m still working on the whole body confidence – self love aspect). So when people creep in and make me either question who I am or question their intentions – then that negativity has to go. If I see people around me exhibiting behaviours such as unwarranted bitching, fake niceness, and ‘arse licking’ to get to the top (you know – climbing that social ladder), then they too – have to go.

We have so many mental illnesses on the rise in today’s society. And it is obvious why. The unrealistic pressures, the stresses of life, the unwarranted and unneeded judgements from others – they are all having a detrimental effect on our mental stability and the way most of us view ourselves.   Unfortunately things won’t change until society as a whole changes. However, it needs to start with us as individuals. Shut down the negativity, in your own mind and that of others. Don’t allow others to judge you, I live every day truly not giving a shit what anyone thinks of me. I share what I want, when I want across my social media. I could yarn for hours behind the scenes in Insta Stories, and if people enjoy what I talk about GREAT, I’m so glad I connect with so many of you. I am often told that something I have said or done has resonated and helped someone, which is just the best feeling ever! If I’m not your cup of tea, then that is totally okay too! But I will never let what others think or perceive of me, get in the way of reaching my goals and living the life I want. I write, I share my stories, create this content not only for myself but to help others. Before this, I felt lost and isolated. There definitely are still days like this, but because of the community I have created around me, I now know that I am not only helping others who feel the same, but I always have at least one person to chat to!

It is time we all embrace LOVE. Love yourself, love others, and spread love where ever you go. Now go and be ‘Up yourself’ girl, cause eventually we will all be UP there, rather than down low with all the haters!

Post script; So I actually wrote this about 4 weeks ago (Early June), and ironically since then, I’ve had an attack on my character by a person I would label as a ‘mean girl’. It actually made me question this entire first paragraph of this article, and the way I felt about it (not to mention, I also questioned my blogging/social media presence). Initially it made me feel that some people can actually LOVE themselves too much, to the point where they put other people down, believing they are beneath them. However, upon reflection (and debriefing/ranting to a few friends) it is in fact evident that the only thing that is actually missing in this person’s character is self love, because someone who truly loves themselves 100% and is confident and happy within themselves, wouldn’t actually belittle another human being, or put someone else down, in an attempt to make themselves feel better the way some do. To anyone who exudes ‘mean girl’ characteristics (you’re more than likely in denial that they even exist), or even if you think your actions are ‘justified’, look within, deep within. Do some soul searching, find what it is about YOU that is making you act that way. Don’t put others down in an attempt to ‘fix’ YOUR problems. It’s a temporary solution, to a potentially life long issue. 

Author: Bec Crombie

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